Friday, 18 February 2011
BH- Initial feedback on the 2nd roughcut
Torment: Dreamscape Roughcut 2 from Benji Hudson on Vimeo.
The first thing that was noted was the fact thhat we still need to add titles to the intital shots, we are currently lacking them in this version of the rough cut.
Another thing to note is the pacing of the intoduction, it has a varying pace with the introduction slowing down and speeding up, with very few establishing shots before we see the main character., also the initial long shot seems to be not far enough, we should fade gentley into a slightly closer shot of the house similar to the film Psycho by Alfred Hitchcock.
Another thing noted was the slight wobble when the character hammers down upon the keyboard- because the camera was resting upon the desk, and as such it caused the camera to wobble slightly.
The variation of the shots also was said to need some improvement, at the moment, we just have shots of him going downstairs with very few shots that interupt it, also we have some quite long shots, they are on screen for far too long and we could have used some additional shots to break it up.Also with the small flashbacks we need to show additional distress to the main character, he doesn't show enough emotional reaction to what is going on, he seems rather passive and calm throughout and the flashbacks appear with little audio cue, so we need the sound to be much stronger and with more distortion, to make the idea stand out as much as we can and scare the audience as much as we can.
Also small touches to the characters enviroment may be needed, maybe a photograph that indicates some form of past tragedy so we can give the sense that the character is a bit older than he appears to be.
Posted by Benjamin Hudson at 11:55